The Story of My Life in 50 statements

It started out with me feeling guilty and discouraged today!

1. When I was a teenager, I lived in Southern California and was fortunate enough to be able to go to the beach and walk the Ventura pier nearly every day.
2. Growing up in an abusive household, the beach and ocean became my refuge.
3. One miracle in my life was when I was 19. I was having a real down moment, I walked to the end my pier and let the wind blow through my hair. I just stood and stared at the ocean. Suddenly, the sadness went away and I was joyful and full of hope and zest for life. I walked back to the shore and saw this guy sitting on a bench and he looked so sad and depressed … the look on his face showed me how I had looked just moments before. I knew I was going to be OK and the Power of the Universe would always be there for me. It was an powerful and awesome moment in my life.
4. After moving to Denver, Colorado … I met Chris, my partner, through a child abuse support group I ran…she’s still a blessing in my life—21 years later.
5. Chris showed me the mountains of Colorado.
6. We collected our change and bought our first tent.
7. We’d camp every weekend at 10,000 ft in the mountain of Colorado at a campground called Twin Peaks. Awesome beauty.
8. Over the years, the little tent grew to better tents, and finally into a pop-up trailer with a pull out.
9. We took a trip about 6 years ago to Oregon. We both fell in love with Oregon and the Pacific Northwest.
10. Why Oregon …. it immediately felt like home to us. The rain, gorgeous trees, ferns, flowers, rainforests, oceans, clouds, and did I mention the RAIN. Wonderful rain.
11. Two years later, Chris was able to transfer to Portland, Oregon. We’ve been here almost four years and still loving it.
12. Today I feel guilty today because I got sick extremely sick 8 years ago.
13. I was in a coma for 40 days and the hospital for 5 months. I had multiple organ failure and a whole bunch of other stuff.
14. I had 12 doctors and 3 nurses were assigned to me around the clock while in ICU.
15. I was a medical mystery and a miracle. Even doctors called me a miracle. No one knew why I got sick and could never figure out why I got healthy.
16. While I was in the hospital, the company both Chris and I worked for went bankrupt. So we were out of money and insurance.
17. The hospital kicked me out (lack of insurance) before I could sit up in bed. Chris was my 24-hour nurse for a long time.
18. We were out of money, I needed a lot of medical supplies and both Chris and I were trying to figure out how to get the supplies. In the mail a friend of ours sent us a “care package” full of medical supplies, games, treats for our cats and dogs. That care package must have cost close to $500. Another miracle had happened. The date was September 11, 2001. A totally unforgettable day for so many reasons.
19. We lost our new house and 35-acre ranch.
20. We filed for bankruptcy.
21. My Ford Ranger was reposed (I couldn’t drive it anyway).
22. When we moved out of our ranch house, we sold all of our furniture and pop-up trailer with the exception of our bed and a couple chairs. We moved back to Denver. We lived off that money until I was able to take care of myself and Chris could go back to work.
23. Here we are 8 years later, banks won’t talk to us.
24. We own our house (manufactured home in a trailer park). It’s a perfect little house.
25. We own our Explorer.
26. We live a simple and minimal life.
27. A fun life.
28. We have two adorable pugs, MacKenzie and Shadow. Both fawn pugs. Both rescued pugs. Very different personalities and they bring such joy to our lives.
29. We have two cuddly cats. Charlie, we got about 7 years ago. We adopted him. He was in a cage waiting to be adopted for about 6 months. He is still afraid to jump if he thinks about it. Although when he is chasing Freddie or the pugs, he is a wonderful jumper.
30. Freddie is our other cat. We got him before I got sick. We bought him as a baby. And when we adopted Charlie, they were instantly brothers.
31. We go to the beach a lot now. Walk on the sand and in the ocean.
32. We love the rain and cool weather.
33. There is always my photography. Earlier this year I got a grown up Nikon D80 and am having a ball. It’s my first DSLR camera. I’ve had plenty of cameras (film and digital) in the past. But now I’m real serious and having so much fun.
34. My job that I had since moving to Oregon, changed drastically at the end of last year. The change was not good for me.
35. I started to get real tired and extremely crabby. So I quit my job and we are now a one income family.
36. We are trying to start a kid, pet and flower photography business.
37. We have our first client this weekend. Our next door neighbor just got a new puppy a couple of weeks ago.
38. A couple of years ago I found a new naturopathic doctor.
39. It took me two years to start talking to her about how I really feel. I told her something that happened to me when I was in my 20’s. Short version of the story is: one day I could walk up and downstairs with no problem, I could stand up from the couch with no problem. The next day I couldn’t get up off the couch. I couldn’t walk stairs anymore. My doctor stopped me mid sentence and said I think you may have Lyme Disease. She knew I lived in Colorado where there are ticks.
40. It is confirmed now that I have Lyme Disease and that caused my mysterious illness 8 years ago.
41. I believe the tired and crabby I had when I quit my job, I was starting to get real sick again. Once I quit my job, I literally slept 14 hours a day until I started taking my Lyme Disease meds. Now I’m down to 8 or 9 hours of sleep.
42. To be honest, I actually got sick when I was about 23 years old I’m now 48.
43. When I first got sick I gained a lot of weight and lost energy.
44. Slowly I lost or gave up on all my friends. I just didn’t have the energy.
45. I was also in the hospital again in late 2005. I didn’t have the coma I did in 2001, but it was more severe. And I’m still recovering from that, four years later.
46. The good news is I will live!!! Not have to be hospitalized for this again.
47. My life after 25 years has been returned to me.
48. I’m finding joy and delight in life!!
49. There is so much beauty in this world.
50. Still wanting to know what I want to be when I grow up!!!

Just think, I woke up feeling guilty today. I was sick and a lot of stuff happened that wasn’t my fault!!! The joy I feel today and the blessings I feel today, that is my creation. And that is what life is all about. The joy!!!

Welcome!!

I've recently been diagnosed with Lyme Disease and will most likely be on antibiotics for the rest of my life. My journey to this diagnosis has taken 25 years to discover. My body has taken a beating and it's fun to start feeling healthy again and have some energy. I actually wake up with a smile and look forward to a new day.

From my understanding Lyme Disease is not easy to diagnose, especially since I didn't live in an area where it is more prevalent. From the best of my knowledge I got it when I lived in Colorado (I currently live in Oregon). From my research there were only 2-4 cases of Lyme Disease reported In Colorado. So 25 years ago, when my symptoms first popped up, it is easy to understand why I was never diagnosed.

In 2001, I ended up in the hospital with my kidneys, pancreas and respiratory system shutting down and had multiple infections. I was a coma for 40 days and rehab for 4 months afterwards. I couldn't work for nearly two years. The biggest mystery was that none of my team of doctors could figure out why I got so sick. They only knew how to keep me alive and knock down the infections. Could they say I was healed? No. Could they say it won't happen again? No. And then in 2005, once again I was hospitalized with a relapse.

I know I have been through a rough 25 years of mysterious illnesses and symptoms and I'm sure I'm not the only person who has a story to tell. I'd like to share my story and hear from others as well.

Cee